There are a few things about becoming a mom there is no way to anticipate the difficulty of. Even if people warn you, until you go through it there’s just no comparison. The sudden change in hormones that goes on for weeks, the amount of love you instantly feel, and how easy it is to lose yourself as a mother.
When my first was five weeks I went back to work. Everyday I got a “break” from being mom and went to work. As much as I longed to be a stay at home mom, I really wasn’t mentally prepared for it. It wasn’t my normal. Now of course I couldn’t imagine leaving these two and returning to a regular job.
The biggest shock was me having to realize sometimes I want away from my kids. Honestly, sometimes my three year old wants away from me, too. Growing up did you ever spend a couple nights with your best friend and by the end of the experience you were just done with each other? Our kids probably feel that way about us.
It’s not everyday, it’s not every week; but every once in a while, I’m ready for someone else to have my kids for a couple hours. And I’ve found that’s normal among most parents.
It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to find a hobby that your kids can’t participate in, and it’s okay to find a hobby and force your kids to participate because it brings you joy. The most important thing for our children is that they have parents who love them first and foremost, but also parents who are happy.
For me I enjoy walking, photography, and deer hunting. My kids participate in all three of these hobbies of mine. They go for walks with me, are the subjects in my photos, and the oldest enjoys tagging along on hunts.
If you are simply unable to leave your kiddos consider how you can take time for yourself while they nap or after they go to bed at night. There has to be something you would enjoy doing- take a bubble bath or use a bath bomb, shop or peruse stores online, bake, heck take up smoking cigars if that’s your thing! Find something you are doing for yourself. If possible hire a sitter and go somewhere by yourself, have a date night with your spouse, find some way to get out of the house and do something for yourself. A friend shared she goes to Sonic and leaves the kid with her husband to get a milkshake-great idea!
Happy parents raise happy kids, make sure you are a happy parent. Asking for time away from your children does not mean you are a bad parent, it means you are a normal human. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes you just want to spend a few minutes doing something without them. It is healthy to have your own time- find the opportunities and make time for you. Your kids will be better for it.